I've spent a week dealing with some sort of cold. Then just before it was over, I got infected again.
My stupid nostrils is cursed. And it has been that way for most of my life.
And barely able to do anything about it.
Been hanging around downstairs in odd hours because the room I was forced to share with is too cold.
It's always the stupid cold. Especially when I'm asleep. Just what the heck is up with that???
When I had my own room, at least I was able to do something about my constant triggers over humidity by putting a disposable dry box.
Then, actually replacing my bedsheets and curtains every week. I'm only an air purifier short from getting a dust free room.
But no.
After a year of figuring all that, instead my sister's boyfriend lives there.
Abruptly.
Now I'm forced to share a room. A room I cannot control. It's my mom's room.
Do chores with it?? Uhh, no!
Those pile of clothes she had? No way I'm cleaning it. It meant enabling whatever unwanted habit she's been doing since I was a child. I refuse to 'do something about' that. I refuse to be used that way. Another story for another time, and it'll be a rant.
Then there's the bed. It was a queen sized bed instead of the double deck that was planned to be brought. Of course.
The bed was purchased on November.
Then the bed fell apart on January.
Then it was broken by the time it's February.
We didn't do any darn thing at it. We ain't even overweight.
It was recently fixed, few weeks ago.
But it was still very annoying.
Now moving on from the room; there's the climate, the weather, the temperature, then the presence of people.
When I was able to control the room, I was able to deduce that my stupid nose starts to act up around 6-8pm.
Would had to wear a hoody over my head. Maybe a facemask too. If not, a earmuff and scarf combo... Though the earmuffs hurt.
And not something I'm allowed to go inside the mall with. Had to remove any of that in order to enter the premises.
And most malls are air-conditioned. It's not the humidity, it's the cold. Risk triggering myself just for a sliver of happy hour, back then after work.
The worst part is that I'm in a very humid country. And I'm triggered for about 99% at the time.
On top of that; I had to tease out between the 99% unwanted nonallergic chronic rhinitis default, from the others; bacterial infection, viral infection, full blown sinusitis.
There's getting feverish without the upper throat pain that resembles like tonsillitis. Usually happens whenever I wake up, likely from sheer exposure.
Then there's the actual tonsillitis. With too much mucus. It's hormonal.
Then there's the abrupt endless sneezing before getting this tonsillitis alike pain that can descend into my throat and into my lungs. Then getting feverish.
Likely an infection from elsewhere.
Then there's the random swelling of the nose but no mucus or sneezing reflex. Just clogged out of nowhere. Just taking some decongestant nasal spray for me, hope that it does not give me head fog symptoms.
Then there's a dry mucus filled sinus that gives me painful headaches. Neti pot or a saline nasal spray might solve this, but it doesn't help anything else.
Sometimes I take antihistamines. But it only works 50% at the time. Because of having different causes.
This stupid nose is the reason why I get sick at all. And no one takes it seriously. It's stupid.
And if I had to be checked everything this nose acts up, I'd be flat broke!
And it's also dismissed as normal.
Yeah, like neigh unmanageable is "normal'; that just popping a pill or a spray would make it go away forever as if it's a simple case of allergic rhinitis.
IT IS NOT. AND IT WAS MEDICALLY CONFIRMED IT IS NOT.
AFTER YEARS OF CALLING IT AN 'ALLERGY', IT IS NOT. I KNEW IT IS NOT.
I don't know when I'll have a chance to get a second opinion of possibly getting surgery as an option for this.
I don't know if I'm gambling a huge pay for potential long term relief at best, or the tiniest risk of empty nose syndrome at worst.
And I hadn't able to make routine maintenances over, yet. Especially since my body has no sense of night and day.
Routines still do not work with me and habits are hard to form.
And I have a lot of unwanted habits out of... 'This' nuisance.
It's a constant annoyance. I wish I never inherited this cursed trait. I'd trade my IQ scores and talents just to get rid of this crap.
It's also more of a social embarrassment than being odd. Being odd, for me, can be a choice between being myself and weird or mask whatever.
I cannot mask or avoid this... Disease. Because it's mostly unmanageable.
It's also loud, messy and disgusting. It's also rude, abrupt, sometimes painful and very stressful by itself.
It messes with my head more than the world did. It messes with my thinking. It already make a huge mess with my hearing.
And for most of my life unable to appreciate a lot of things related to smell...
The one of the worst part is the dangerous assumptions that it's COVID.
Yeah, I'm 'infected by COVID' for what, over 24+ years??? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
And I'm also asymptomatic if I'm actually infected.
This... VERY PHYSICAL issue is my biggest bane in my life.
More than whatever developmental screw ups I ended up with. I can make do with that.
Sensory issues; I can self accomodate. Or even able to avoid.
Especially now that I figured how to tone down my internal sensitivities.
Unfortunately, nothing makes me 'less prone'. Save for having my own room; but NO.
It's the biggest genetic screw up over my quality of life. To a point I wish this lifetime is over so I don't have to deal with breathing issues.
But it's not cancer. Or a collapsed lung. Or fibromyalgia. Or even asthma. Or dangerous allergic reaction like anaphylaxis.
Yeah, this is one the reasons why I don't wish for a very long time.
And there are countless cases like mine, remain unsolved, not cured.
And there's no focus on that, really. Because it's just 'sneezing'.