Except; I deal with upper respiratory flare ups for most of my waking life, random cough and cold once every 3 months or so, one of the 4 or 6 is bad enough to make me lose voice...
I fricking hate it.
Yes, the x-ray result is mine and not a random internet image placeholder. No, I didn't planned it or had been referred from any clinic to take an xray. It's a surprise.
For all I knew, this might be what I've been dealing almost every year.
I had months and weeks, wasted on coughing, fatigue and so forth.
I wasn't like this as a child. Except for crappy sniffles that bullied me more than anyone's reaction of oddities I have.
Barely anything like this as a teenager. With no provocations other than hormones and weather.
The frick just happened??
It's not like I had a sedentary life.
And, if I work out, I don't improve. I walk a lot and for hours a day sometimes.
But jog or run? Lungs will act as if it has asthma.
Lungs sometimes acts as if it has asthma because of weather and hormones, despite the lack of weekly stressors. It just happens.
COVID history? I'm asymptomatic. But vaccinated without side effects.
Still for most of my life, I have respiratory related issues. And I hate it. Breathing is almost never right for me to a point I cannot use it to meditate with it.
But the lungs are rarer occasion. I almost never had them as a kid. Rarely as a teenager.
But as an adult?? Are adults supposedly have a more developed immune system?
It's almost always the nose to me.
Usually it starts with something nasty or painful in my nose or whatever you call past near the uvula, and eventually goes down and spread into my lungs, whatever it is.
After waking up from those the day before, there come fever, weakness, cough, phlegm...
If there's no fever or weakness, I'll lose voice and had to bear with it for a week or so.
And I just fricking hate it.
I don't care if it's trendy or "normal". I hate it. It's not fair. Yes, I'm THAT entitled or whatever. I do not seek sympathy. Only rant.
And whatever emotionality I do doesn't solve this crap. It'll just happen again. For no apparent reason other than reasoning it's the weather.
This is a tropical country. Humid all year old, more humid at storm season with the comes and goes of hot and cold very quickly.
And I'm not even living near any large body of water. This place ain't dry enough for me.
So this week I'm taking an antibiotic, an anti-asthma, a mucolytic, and a corticosteroid... Today is day 4 of taking said medications. The cough and breathing issues along with whatever this is, is day 7.
I hate taking anti-asthma medication.
I got prescribed to take it 3 times a day.
Per 2mg of the medication, I need like more than a glass worth of hydration supplement and 3+ worth of medium sized bananas.
For me to stop as if my body feels restless and cramping.
The latter is too familiar. So fricking familiar, I don't want anything to do with it.
So potassium and electrolytes, eh? Body so stupid sensitive that the recommended bananas were just one per medication. Why does it take me trice to be well with it???
Like, I didn't tried earlier. 1 banana -- still shaking. 1 bananas after second dose of the day -- I just shake more. So 2 bananas; it's a bit ok but not enough.
Then 3? A bit fine. 4? Good.
But is that sustainable??? Of course not!
While I don't mind eating this much bananas, but really? 12 bananas throughout the day to a point that I'm skipping meals because I've been too full.
But this is just day 4 of treatment. I got like 3 days to go or so before getting reassessed.
Another majority of a month wasted on sickness. And this isn't the first time that it happened to me around February.
It already happened last year April.
It already happened last last year October.
If only my past tracking journals are more coherent than "not feeling well" and ranting of "not feeling like it" all week long, all year long than compared to scant few days that isn't.
Was it because I like to walk to work, antiperspirants ineffective and that I literally need a clothing change because being dried of sweat isn't good?
Or was it because of my humidity and cold intolerance? Because that's what made my stupid non-allergic chronic rhinitis worse and practically unmanageable.
I enjoy outdoors. I like to walk.
Am I going to deprived myself of this because of this fricking body being fricking fragile?
I've been fighting for this crap.
And this is just one aspect of the chronic problem of existing in this body.
I already had enough with neediness.
Let alone sickness and illness and whatever preventive maintenance because of stupid vulnerability.
Being "easily sickly" is a very, very bothersome lifestyle to maintain.
Take the statement in any other way, it's more true than not, regardless.
